I'm not going to copy down the questions and such. If you have a copy of the book, you'll know what pages they're on and stuff. If you don't have a copy, this may inspire you to get one. I don't know. I just don't have the spoons to copy questions and answer them.
1. Morning pages were done every day this week, except for Tuesday. I switched to blogging them because my notebook is full and I don't have another in the same size.
2. My artist's date happened on Tuesday. I stopped at the local dollar store to look for a book of stickers or something interesting. There wasn't anything there that caught my eye. It wasn't a good day for such things anyways because of family drama happening that day.
3. Enemy No. 1: K- who wanted to take over my life and make me stop producing art or writing for fun. K- insisted that creativity was only acceptable if it was useful. Enemy No. 2: the collective body of my grade in school bullied me mercilessly. My self-expression was the target of harassment and physical punishment for being different. One kid vs 97 is really bad odds. It started in kindergarten and lasted through senior year of high school. Fuck those people. I haven't been to a class reunion and likely will never go. Enemy No. 3: Professor X who told me that I was a hack. He said that my poetry was a bad imitation of E.A. Poe and that my prose was abhorrent and childish. I still have a hard time writing poetry.
4. Completed some of this in the section above. I'm still pissed about Professor X.
5. To whom it may concern, Professor X is a terrible instructor. His autocratic bullshit attitude fails to inspire confidence in his students. My homage to E.A. Poe was relatively well written considering that it was my first attempt and unedited. Professor X should have given me instruction for how to improve my work rather than shooting me down.
6. Champion No. 1: My grandparents who were always at my back supporting and encouraging me in my work. Champion No. 2: Professor Y who told me while I was in their class during high school that I had the potential to be a great author. And the guidance that they gave me for how to write my academic papers has stuck with me through the years and given me a deep respect for E.B. White. Champion No. 3: My husband. He has always encouraged me to follow my dreams and been my consolation when things get hard. I love you, babe.
7. Dear Debby, don't let the bastards grind you down. You will make it despite the harassment and bullying. Life gets better after high school and the general bastardy of N-. You'll go to college and meet some wonderful people. You'll find your voice. And you will start to heal from the hurts given to you. Don't give up.
8. Imaginary lives: painter, teacher, actress, psychic, singer, musician
9. Blurt No. 1: I am past my prime. I can't do this anymore because I am disabled.
Blurt No. 2: I'm too broken to write anything worth reading.
Blurt No. 3: I'm not smart enough to make this into a career.
Blurt No. 4: If I'm not perfect, there will be horrific consequences.
Affirmation 1: My disability does not change my abilities to write. It just requires me to rest and take better care of myself in the process of doing so.
Affirmation 2: I am not broken. I am injured and in the process of healing. This does not make my work less valuable or worthy.
Affirmation 3: I have a college degree from a prestigious university that tells me that I am smart enough to do anything I put my mind to. Dual concentrations in English and Physics tells me that I am not dumb. My problem is not being dumb, it is organization and time management. This can be solved.
Affirmation 4: The goal is not perfection but progress. Mistakes are growth and can be part of the 'perfection' of the final work. In knitting a mistake can be an advanced design element if you repeat it intentionally in the pattern and make it yours. There are entire patterns based around dropped stitches, I can make mistakes work for me and make my work stronger with them.
10. Too sick to take a walk today. Sat and did some crochet instead. Hate the colorway but the pattern is ok on the project.
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