Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Forcing yourself to write is painful.

Some people say, my friend Reader, that forcing yourself to write is like forcing yourself to fart. It is painful and has a high chance of being crap. I'm still working on this but I'm not doing very well. As you can probably tell by the fact it has been a week since I posted. I am finding that this medication adjustment is more difficult than I expected it to be. I am also finding that recovering from a bruised rib has made my sleep difficult. Thus, I get my morning pages done by sneaking in time through out the day.

I feel pretty horrible about that. I have not given up. I'm just struggling. I will try to post again tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Low water levels.

Friends, I'm having a crisis of faith. I doubt not in the gods (or the flying spaghetti monster, blessed are we who have been touched by his noodly appendage). It is in myself. Some of this, if not all of it, is because of what N. Lokison called brain weasels. Self doubt is an insidious beast. I have been attempting to keep a log of how much I am writing. The numbers are very low.

They say that writing or any other creative work is like drawing water from a well. I don't know if my water levels are low or if the problem is my bucket is small and my arms are getting tired. Either way, I'm feeling creatively blocked and panic over the idea that I am never going to get back to the Great
Work. I am trying not to panic but it's still there.

It is harder because my medication change is making everything harder. I've been so tired and having such difficulty concentrating. It just makes me feel worse that this is the first post I've done in a week. I'm sorry, I'm trying. It's just hard.

Monday, February 5, 2018

Random babbling update.

Hi there,

I've been somewhat spotty in my posting. I'm adjusting to a medication change and dealing with the effects of my illnesses being in 'active' mode. It has thrown a big wrench into the works on getting things written because I just about start sobbing when ever I try to write anything of substance. I may bet a paragraph or two and then I break down. It's been really hard.

I keep doing the morning pages but I've dwindled down from three to one. It's all I can manage to get out and it feels like tying to squeeze blood from a stone. Beloved tells me to write for myself. I'm trying to do so but it's been very difficult. I will do my best to get back to blogging as soon as possible. Until then, I hope you will continue to be patient.

Thank you.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Craft of Writing: Praise of Morning Pages.

Hello, friends!
Image Courtesy of Pexels.com

I have had a wild week that got in the way of just about everything I had planned to do. Migraines that last 24+ hours don't help much on top of being super busy with the duties of being a parent. On the plus side of the ledger, however, I have my morning pages. I devote a half hour every morning to working on them. I fell into this habit as I was working through The Artist's Way, for the second time, last summer. At first, it felt foolish and like I was wasting time. Now, however, it is something I wouldn't trade for anything.

What are the morning pages? Well, they're three pages of writing that is essentially a brain dump first thing in the morning. I've come to equate it with mental and writerly yoga. It's an exercise that helps warm me up for the day and I almost always come away from it feeling like I've done something good for me. In the past, this function was filled by my daily journal. I'm finding that my daily journal is more of a record of how my day has been where as my morning pages are completely random and comprised of what ever is running through my head that morning.

I started out with the focus of writing about my writing habits. Somewhere around September, I drifted away from that focus and it turned into something closer to what Ms. Cameron was indicating they often turn out to be. It is a habit that is not entirely easy. I find there are days that it is easier to write and days where I just want to throw the notebook in the trash and forget it all. Still, I do my writing because if I don't do it I find I feel off kilter for the rest of the day.

It is both an exercise in discipline and a warm up exercise for writing that day. As odd as it seemed, I have found that some warm up for my writing sessions is actually really helpful. I had thought that this was just a thing that musicians and athletes did to prevent injury during performance. Now, I find myself thinking that it is a mental thing that helps prime the proverbial pump for performance.

I highly recommend spending time, even if it is just ten minutes, doing some free writing before working on a project. It helps me get into the mental groove that I work best in. It may prove helpful for you. I hope you have a wonderful week.

Book Review: Twilight Goddess

Title: Twilight Goddess: Spiritual Feminism and Feminine Spirituality
Authors: Thomas Cleary and Sartaz Aziz
Publisher: Shambhala, Boston Date: 2000

This book proports to present the fiminine face of divinity as seen in modern periods, working from the contest of a brief overview of world religions. The focused/hilighted religions are:

Hinduisim, Taoism, Buddhisim (Mahynana), Islam (Sufi)

Halfway through the text, I find it to be an interesting survey of female divinity. It is unclear, however, if they've proven their point. it is clear that in the Orient (including Arabic nations) that feminine divinity has not been clearly suppressed as it has in Europe and nations of European descent. On the whole, however, a very facinating book.

An excellent book! I couldn't put it down. It ended far too soon.

[Edited to add: I finished this book rather quickly. In my rapid devowering of the text, I failed to write in any comments of depth, as you see.]

Originally Published: 8/23/2006

Book Review: Sacred Contracts

Title: Sacred Contracts: Awakening your Divine Potential
Author: Caroline Myss
Publisher: Harmony Books Date: 2001

From the bits and peices I've glanced at, this appears to be a book that defines, or attempts to define a person's role in relation to God and society.

Quote used at introduction from S. Radhakrishnan, Pres. of India (1962-1967) [On pg. 1 of text.] " The oldest wisdom in the world tells us we can consciously unite with the divine while in tis body, for this man is really born. If he misses his destiny, Nature is not in a hurry, she will catch him up someday, and comple him to fulfill her secret purpose."

This is a facinating quote!

I was wrong earlier. This is a book discussing psychology and spirituallity. Her application of Jungian psychology and myth reminds me of Joseph Campbell. [Hero's Journey = our lives]

Much of what Myss is saying leads me to think of my "calling." I feel compelled to walk this religious path and work in a capacity described by Christianity as ministry. [Edited to remove a poem I wrote, look at blog for it.]

A facinating book. I wasn't able to put it down. Essentially, it is the application of Jungian psychology in the context of the casting wheel for astrology. Archetypes are chosen by the patient and then placed in the houses upon examination of their role in one's life. they are then interpreted within the houses and their context.

In many respects, this mode reminds me of the various thereputic tarot spreads. Specifically of the one that casts the cards with in the astrological houses.

Originally Published: 8/23/2006

Book Review: The White Goddess

Title: The White Goddess
Author: Robert Graves
Publisher: Creative Age Press, NY Date: 1948

Well, I've read most of this book and I'm putting it down out of boredom. Graves is very keen on the idea that much of the Iberio-Celtic language is influenced by the Greeks. His organization of the Ogham, which has been upheld as the standard, is based off his Greek theory.

He appears to be basing every aspect of his worn on myth and J. G. Frazer's Golden Bough. While the Golden Bough is an excellent book, you need more then one source for research.

Originally Published: 8/23/2006