Craft of Writing: Praise of Morning Pages.

Hello, friends!

Image Courtesy of Pexels.com

I have had a wild week that got in the way of just about everything I had planned to do. Migraines that last 24+ hours don't help much on top of being super busy with the duties of being a parent. On the plus side of the ledger, however, I have my morning pages. I devote a half hour every morning to working on them. I fell into this habit as I was working through The Artist's Way, for the second time, last summer. At first, it felt foolish and like I was wasting time. Now, however, it is something I wouldn't trade for anything.

What are the morning pages? Well, they're three pages of writing that is essentially a brain dump first thing in the morning. I've come to equate it with mental and writerly yoga. It's an exercise that helps warm me up for the day and I almost always come away from it feeling like I've done something good for me. In the past, this function was filled by my daily journal. I'm finding that my daily journal is more of a record of how my day has been where as my morning pages are completely random and comprised of what ever is running through my head that morning.

I started out with the focus of writing about my writing habits. Somewhere around September, I drifted away from that focus and it turned into something closer to what Ms. Cameron was indicating they often turn out to be. It is a habit that is not entirely easy. I find there are days that it is easier to write and days where I just want to throw the notebook in the trash and forget it all. Still, I do my writing because if I don't do it I find I feel off kilter for the rest of the day.

It is both an exercise in discipline and a warm up exercise for writing that day. As odd as it seemed, I have found that some warm up for my writing sessions is actually really helpful. I had thought that this was just a thing that musicians and athletes did to prevent injury during performance. Now, I find myself thinking that it is a mental thing that helps prime the proverbial pump for performance.

I highly recommend spending time, even if it is just ten minutes, doing some free writing before working on a project. It helps me get into the mental groove that I work best in. It may prove helpful for you. I hope you have a wonderful week.

♥

Book Review: Twilight Goddess

Title: Twilight Goddess: Spiritual Feminism and Feminine Spirituality
Authors: Thomas Cleary and Sartaz Aziz
Publisher: Shambhala, Boston Date: 2000

This book proports to present the fiminine face of divinity as seen in modern periods, working from the contest of a brief overview of world religions. The focused/hilighted religions are:

Hinduisim, Taoism, Buddhisim (Mahynana), Islam (Sufi)

Halfway through the text, I find it to be an interesting survey of female divinity. It is unclear, however, if they've proven their point. it is clear that in the Orient (including Arabic nations) that feminine divinity has not been clearly suppressed as it has in Europe and nations of European descent. On the whole, however, a very facinating book.

An excellent book! I couldn't put it down. It ended far too soon.

[Edited to add: I finished this book rather quickly. In my rapid devowering of the text, I failed to write in any comments of depth, as you see.]

Originally Published: 8/23/2006

Book Review: Sacred Contracts

Title: Sacred Contracts: Awakening your Divine Potential
Author: Caroline Myss
Publisher: Harmony Books Date: 2001

From the bits and peices I've glanced at, this appears to be a book that defines, or attempts to define a person's role in relation to God and society.

Quote used at introduction from S. Radhakrishnan, Pres. of India (1962-1967) [On pg. 1 of text.] " The oldest wisdom in the world tells us we can consciously unite with the divine while in tis body, for this man is really born. If he misses his destiny, Nature is not in a hurry, she will catch him up someday, and comple him to fulfill her secret purpose."

This is a facinating quote!

I was wrong earlier. This is a book discussing psychology and spirituallity. Her application of Jungian psychology and myth reminds me of Joseph Campbell. [Hero's Journey = our lives]

Much of what Myss is saying leads me to think of my "calling." I feel compelled to walk this religious path and work in a capacity described by Christianity as ministry. [Edited to remove a poem I wrote, look at blog for it.]

A facinating book. I wasn't able to put it down. Essentially, it is the application of Jungian psychology in the context of the casting wheel for astrology. Archetypes are chosen by the patient and then placed in the houses upon examination of their role in one's life. they are then interpreted within the houses and their context.

In many respects, this mode reminds me of the various thereputic tarot spreads. Specifically of the one that casts the cards with in the astrological houses.

Originally Published: 8/23/2006

Book Review: The White Goddess

Title: The White Goddess
Author: Robert Graves
Publisher: Creative Age Press, NY Date: 1948

Well, I've read most of this book and I'm putting it down out of boredom. Graves is very keen on the idea that much of the Iberio-Celtic language is influenced by the Greeks. His organization of the Ogham, which has been upheld as the standard, is based off his Greek theory.

He appears to be basing every aspect of his worn on myth and J. G. Frazer's Golden Bough. While the Golden Bough is an excellent book, you need more then one source for research.

Originally Published: 8/23/2006

Book Review: The End of Time

Title: The End of Time: The Next Revolution in Physics
Author: Julian Barbour
Publisher: Oxford press, New York Date: 1999

The initial premise set forward that time is separate from the operation of physics is interesting, but I'm not convinced. I will have to say I agree that Unified Field Theory will need to exclude time as currently described. I'm sure this will be an interesting read.

Now = collective reality?

I've just finished The End of Time. Interesting little book, nice mathematics, pretty pictures and a stunning aray of gross verbage and bullshit. The author's entire argument is circular, coached in a comprehensive discussion of the rise of quantum physics.

He argues that time is an illusion, one that is precieved due to psycho-physical parallelism. By this argument, time is different for beings with different metabolisims and does not exist for that which does not observe it. It brings up the old paradox of the tree in the woods.

I'm more inclined to argue that our perception of times varies but time itself is universal and behaves much like space. It would be a separate dimension that we are only mearly aware of. I suspect a sect of boundry conditions due to the construct of this universe limit our ability to travel in time. To be honest, I'm beginning to suspect that time travel would only be possible in the event of moving to a different universe. No, rephrase that, in a different universe.

Originally Published: 8/23/2006

Incoming Migraine, Ahoy!

This wonky weather we've been having is messing with me. I am having aura symptoms of a migraine and I'm a little annoyed. Sometimes, I think about Hildegarde Von Bingen and how her visions were often described by people as symptoms of an ocular migraine. It makes me curious how she treated her pain? I don't think that they had access to opium in late medieval Germany. Did she apply a poultice of herbs and lay in a dark cell, praying for the agony to pass? Or did she accept the agony as a sign of her lowly status in the earthly realm and just suffer in the dark until light no longer made her feel like she was going to vomit?

All of this makes me also wonder how such things would have been treated in the world of Evandar. As I read through herbals and consider what I'm learning, it makes me curious about ancient cures from our world and what their cognates would be in my storybook world. Did you know that ground up mummies were soaked in wine and then handkerchiefs were dipped in them before being applied to the person's head that was suffering a headache? It's mentioned in Shakespeare's play Othello and it was part of legit medical practice from that era. Possibly earlier, actually. And then there is the practice of blood letting, which has always horrified me to be honest.

Rambling aside, I'm still trying to get going on material for here. Life keeps getting in the way. Friday, the kids have off from school. I don't think I'm getting much of anything done then. And I am sitting here craving gummy bears to an almost violent degree as other migraine aura symptoms are making themselves known. I think I blew my writing time today looking at cat videos as I was trying not to be super anxious over existence. One of the problems of having a vivid imagination is that it is very easy to imagine you are going to die from food poisoning when you're just having run of the mill stomach troubles, for example.

Writing by hand slower by the hour, more by the week?

My goal is to get my handwritten daily word count up to what I can do on a slow day typing. I can get around 350 words written in a half hour. That isn't a bad rate, when I'm not distracted. My goal is to double that. 700 words an hour is pretty good. Two hours of dedicated, undisturbed, and not distracted writing time could get me to where a manuscript would be complete in a month or two. The trick is managing to hit that consistently.

I am trying to approach this like spinning by hand. Spin when I have the opportunity and I'll manage a mile of thread by the end of the month. Write when I have the chance, I'll manage a novel length manuscript by the end of the month.

Finally getting back to work.

After about two months of letting this manuscript sit on a shelf, I have finally gotten back to working on my handwritten manuscript from NaNoWriMo last year. I'm not super proud of it. It is still a rambling mess, but I'm trying. And that is all that matters, right?

I'll post occasional word count updates and excerpts that I'm pleased with. Editing on book four has hit a snag. I lost my place after putting it down for a bout a week. As such, I'm starting over again at the beginning. This is the last time I will not put some kind of comment in where I stopped working.

Transferring notes.

So, I think I hate transferring notes. I have such a pile that I want to burn stuff and start over again. But I kinda need them. It's upsetting and frustrating. I'd say more, but I've got life stuff making problems for me.

Serial Stories Suspended

Hi there,

My notes are utter chaos. I'm still in the process of transferring everything into one cohesive notebook. I'm beginning to think I'm a bit of an idiot for attempting to do that. Because I have so much stuff just laying about everywhere. It's a bit of a problem. So, until I can even find my notes for the serial stories, I need to put them on hold. I'm sorry.

In other news, Llamas of Judgment is the name of my notebook that holds my bullet journal for writing. Because Llamas are hard task masters. And you don't want to get on Carl's bad side.

Currently listening to: The Beatles' Fixing a Hole (it is a weird song.)

Current random thought: I wonder which spit farther, a llama or a camel?

Craft of Writing: Llamas of Judgment are JUDGING me.

The Llamas of Judgment are JUDGING me right now. As you can tell, my bullet journal has blank weekly pages. No work has really been getting done on anything. Today, I spent some time attempting to organize notes. Yesterday, I spent some time drafting out plans for posts for my various blogs. Total time actually writing, however, has been functionally zero. I honestly don't feel like I can count the writing I am doing for therapy stuff or my personal journal towards my word count on anything for the day.

After months of not drawing anything, I have the beginnings of a sketch in the herbal. I drew it out with a drafting pencil. It was nothing fancy. I have yet to add color or anything else to it. The Llama of Judgment is not happy because this is still incomplete despite my having time to work on it today. I did crochet and cleaned my project room instead.  Also, I'm finally getting caught up on the heaps of laundry that needed done.


Why have I been spending so much time on stuff that is not writing? Simple, my anxiety has been really bad over the last several days. To the point that I have been having problems with my PTSD. I am pretty sure it is stress over things like money that has my anxiety so bad, but there's also been stuff coming up in flashbacks that I wasn't prepared for. I'm not entirely sure how to handle that. Silence, however, is not an option.

And I am not going to allow my depression to keep me from blogging anymore. That's not happening now. You get to go on the whirlygig ride of my moods too. Who knows, maybe you'll find something interesting in all of this. At worst, you will see my humanity. That's not such a bad thing.

Currently listening to: The Main Theme from Myst IV, composed by Jack Wall
Current random thought: Do our toes have 'finger prints' too? Are they the same as our finger prints or different?
This week's prompt: What is your biggest wish in the whole world?

Book Review: New Collected Poems of Robert Graves

Title: New Collected Poems
Author: Robert Graves
Publisher: Doubleday & Co. Date: 1975
I'm probably going to make notes on the poems I like and Grave's style. At least Graves doesn't do everything in lower case, like e.e. cummings.

Very lush and sensual imagery. His lover imagery is very raw and provacative, but also very elusive/wistful. There is also an element of a somewhat dark sesual undertone. It suggests something of a dissatisfaction with the current situation and a burgeoning sense of resentment/depression.

When place in context of Grave's biographical blurb in the preface of the book (written by the editor) it seems to coincide with his stormy relationships. It also is suggestive of a maschoistic aspect in Grave's personality and a desire to be dominated by a powerful woman.

The range of mood swings seen in the poems suggest a manic-depressive element to the poet's personality. I wonder what one would say about my poems and how they reflect upon my psyche.

Note: This was originally published on Livejournal Aug 23, 2006. This entry was a typed version of a handwritten one from an earlier date in my paper reading journal.

Book Review: Idylls of the King

Title: Idylls of the King
Author: Alfred Tennyson
Publisher: Allyn and Bacon Date: 1923

I've enjoyed Tennyson's poetry in the Highwayman and the Lady of Shallot. I suspect that this will be a fairly delightful, romantic rendition of the Authurian myth cycle.

Last night, I read roughly half of this book. Tennyson is clearly drawing off of Mallory's Le Mort Du Arthur for his story elements. His false archaic language is pleasantly quaint, even if a bit forced or awkward at times.

These tales are easy to read but somewhat lacking in substance. He manages to carry the story for a little way and then falls flat. It seems that Tennyson struggles and becomes more focused on the language then the story. It's clear that this was what Monty Python was mocking in their movie The Quest for the Holy Grail.

Note: This was originally published on Livejournal Aug 23, 2006. It is a typed version from a 2002 entry in my written reading journal. I had to correct a few spellings because of how horrid they were.

Book Review: The Iliad

Title: The Iliad
Author: Homer Translator: W.H.D. Rouse
Publisher: Mentor Books Date: 1938
I'm disappointed that this is a prose version of the epic. I was hoping that I'd get to read a poetry version. It is rather easy to read, but I get the impression that the prose weighs the story down.

The battle scene descriptions are minimally discriptive but the dialog and interpersonal tension developed by it is rather interesting. Again, I find myself thinking it's got to be a better read when it is in poetry. I find the treatment of the goddesses to be lacking, virtually all of the characters are two dimensional. The character of Achillies and of hector are a bit more developed then those of Agemmonon, Odysessus, helen or any of the other major players. Athena and Apollow are not quite as flat as the other gods, but it's been disappointing in character development.

I'm curious why Ajax is translates as Aias. Perhaps the translation is attempting to stick as close to the Homeric Greek spelling of the names as possible. There is a good description of the battle traditions/practices of the ancient Greeks given and there is a clear feeling of the Greek camp.

The beseiged Troy is not as clear of a setting as the Greek camp, but both fail when compared to the battlefield. As a setting to be filled in by the mind, the battlefield comes within a surprising amount of initial detail for the reader.

I just finished the book, abit surprised that it ended before the death of Achillies and the sacking of Troy. I guess that it is Virgil's Aneid that ends with those scenes. Perhaps I'll find a poetry translation of the Iliad. This one was rather boring.

Note: This was originally published on Livejournal Aug 23, 2006. It was typed up as written in a paper reading journal from an earlier date in 2002.

Book Review: The Psychology of C.G. Jung

Title: The Psychology of C.G. Jung
Author: Jolande Jacobi
Publisher: Yale Univ. Press Date: 1971

This is the fifth printing of this text, the orginal publication date is 1942 and the publisher is Routledge & Kegan Paul Ltd. The prefaces from the past editions gives an idea of the evolution of the text to it's current state. Orginally, this appears to have been published in German. Listed on the page with the publication information is a translator, Ralph Maneim.

I find myself questioning why Jung chose to percieve the psyche as something akin to a Russian set of nesting dolls. Why didn't he choose a more organic approach. The roots of the ego are in the uncoscious, the growth process is our development of self-differentiation and the consciousness is the flower of the plant known as ego. The growth of a psyches is influenced by external forces as well as internal forces. The environment of the plant are the external forces and the earth are the internal forces, which Freud and Jung call the unconscious.

To take the plant image a touch farther, the roots of the plant we call ego is the personal unconsciousness of Freud and Jung and the soil is the collective/social unconsciousness. The group unconsciousness of a society would come into play as the genus and family of the plant.

Looking at the description Jung provides on the nature, function, and operation of the psyche, I find myself questioning some of what is presented. Now, some of the points I am dubious of may be more a result of Jacobi rather then Jung, but it doesn't seem to make too much difference. Part of my difficulty with what I'm reading here is just how much repitition there is. I'd figure that you don't need to beat your readers over the head with a concept to get them to recognize it.

Jung and Freud do appear to agree on a few points that I've encountered thus far. both argue that the psyche is made of three parts and they agree on all of them. Jung and Freud seem to agree on the functions of the conscious mind and the ego. They have two very different perspectives on the unconscious and Jung appears to have developed the sub-conscious.

The more I read of Jung's work, the more I see that much of the occult pilosophy and theology has drawn heavily off of his work. I find myself feeling increasingly disappointed with the writers of the Neo-pagan community. The use of fiction, half finished theories, and poorly researched archeology/anthropology as the basis of a serious religion that claims to be rooted in antiqueity is more then just irresponcible, it's fraudulent.

Jung's archetypes, specifically his primeval "Great Mother," all can clearly be seen as the precursors to the Great Mother cult of the modern paganism movement. I suppose it makes sense to see so many movements with in the pagan community claim antiquiety as their origins when you look at their sources.

On the whole, however, I have to say that I've lost interest in this work. It's too self important, using jargon for the sake of jargon. It also talks in circles and reveals the real holes in Jung's arguments. Ironically, they're in many of the same places as Freud's were, such as failing to be sufficently flexible to conditions of varying degrees. So, I'm putting this down, though with a valueable lesson learned about pagan literature.

Note: This originally was published on Livejournal Aug. 23,2006. It was copied from a reading journal entry dated earlier. It is presented in the original format as closely as possible, including spelling and grammatical errors.

I'm writing but not WRITING.

I write every day. Grocery lists, to do lists, journal notes for my health stuff, and random babbling in
my paper daily journal. But getting back into writing fiction or even blog posts is proving pretty hard. I have my anxiety grab me around the throat and shake really, really hard. It's pretty awful, to be honest. Even now, I have a part of me saying I should just delete this post because it is just garbage anyways.

Depression tells me that all of this is pointless. That no one is going to want to read what I write and that I am wasting time that would be better spent on the Sisyphean task of folding laundry and washing dishes. It also tells me that I am a terrible cook, my husband really hates me, and that I have delusions of adequacy when I'm actually nothing but a perpetual failure. Depression is a real bastard. I hate it with a passion. It is a mutual hatred, to be honest.

Anxiety tells me that if I don't get everything perfect on the first shot, something horrible will happen. It tells me that if I don't write just the right thing, someone will hurt people I love, destroy my reputation, or otherwise ruin my life. It also tells me that one misspelled word equates to the destruction of any possible writing career I hoped to have. And that I will be dead before I finish my fantasy novel series, never mind the science fiction/erotica one. The list is endless because I am a very creative person and my anxiety draws off of that to come up with the worst possible scenarios.

All I can do is try. Right now, I'm just trying to keep posting here. I don't want 2018 to be another year of not doing writing. I feel like I've lost a piece of my self in the process of the depressive episode that took up most of last year. I am trying to find it but it is proving harder than I thought. This used to be easy. Now it is hard, but I will keep going because I have stories to write that are clamoring in my brain to get out.

Life Gets In the Way of THE WORK.

Hi there,

Nothing is quite so frustrating as when LIFE gets in the way of working on what you want to. When
your scheduled writing time gets eaten by morning chores or dawdling children trying to get out of going to school, you may get a little irate. When your ready to sit down and do some serious plot work but you have a ton of dishes and a dirty kitchen to deal with, it makes you want to take a flame thrower to it all and live off of paper plates and take out for the rest of all time. Or when you can't sit down because there are piles of laundry needing folding all over the place, you may seriously contemplate becoming a nudist despite the fact that the temperatures run into the negative digits where you live.

It is as though you have been wished a death of a thousand paper cuts. With the paper cuts replaced with annoyances. And it is very hard to DO THE WORK when you have to do the (house)work. Add on top of this any other things that suck the life and energy out of you, like that soul crushing job you have so that you can afford those paper plate, and some days you just want to give up. The question is on what? If you give up on THE WORK, it will never get finished. If you give up on the dishes and laundry, you're going to find yourself cold and trying to eat soup with a plastic fork off of a paper plate when the temperatures dip back into negative sanity territory. And we won't talk about how ugly it would get if you didn't have the soul crushing job to allow you to have those blessed paper plates.

So, what do you give up when you feel like that is the only way to move forward? Thus far, the best answer that I have found it high expectations. You can't fold all the laundry, wash the whole kitchen, and keep that job on top of writing the greatest novel ever and keeping a half dozen blogs. There simply is not enough time. Drop that expectation down a few notches. Maybe you break that kitchen job up into a 3 day affair. Day one, spend 20 minutes on getting all those dishes done. Day two is your day for spending time chipping the gunk off of the inside of the microwave and wiping down the stove top. And day three is the time to clean out the unknown science experiments growing in the fridge and freezer. 

Turn that living room full of laundry into a multi day affair. Maybe your goal is one load of laundry a day. Or perhaps you're an eager beaver and you can get to two. If you hit three loads in one day, you are officially my hero. The thing is you need to spend your time wisely. Try not to spend it in a panic. Try to spend some of it planning your attack on the mundane elements of your life like you may plan epic fight scenes. My bullet journal helps with some of the planning. So does FLYLady. But the biggest help is setting myself up with reasonable expectations.

Now, if you excuse me, I have to fold a load of laundry between blog posts and then get the kids off the bus. Who knows, maybe one of the boys will help me wash some dishes.

Let's be serious.

Hi there,

Let's be serious, for just a moment. I'm an author. You, too, may be an author. Technically, we may be competitors, but I like to think of us as colleagues who can celebrate each other's successes. I want to help YOU be successful. I am starting a list of books to read this year and write up new reviews for. Because just posting old reviews is boring for me. And I am finding that I am hitting the end of my 'to be read' list from last year.

So, please comment with a title you want me to review. If you are also an author, I'd be happy to review some of your work. I post my book reviews on the weekend. I will be tagging new reviews. I will read on any topic. I am a curious little thing and generally can get through most anything. (Yes, that does mean I am going to attempt to read the 50 Shades series again. This time, I'm forcing myself through it chapter by chapter like I did with the City of God. I apologize for anyone offended by my putting the writings of E.L. James beside the writings of St. Augustine of Hippo. But that was probably one of the most painfully boring things I read ever.)

Share with me the books you'd like my opinion on. I will cover the technical details about readability, plot development, character development, and general flow. I may even have some thoughts on the author's tone. I will be as kind as I can be, but I will also be honest in my opinion.

♥

Craft of Writing: Bullet Journal post.

So, I have officially started my bullet journal for 2018. I made a header page with a mini index, but it is really nothing to look at. My goals page and my over view of the year are here. I'm still filling it in. I broke the year up by quarter so that I could work on my goals by quarter. Theoretically, this should help.

I have a monthly page where I list appointments and stuff that is happening which will have an impact on my writing time. I also put down deadlines too. After that is my first weekly log page. I haven't completed noting what I wrote yesterday. And I have yet to write down what I got done today. But, I have found that switching focus from 'to do' to 'done' has improved my attitude about using this format.

What's working for your planning? ♥