NaNoWriMo is a big project. It is also my attempt to get back to writing books. Most years that I have participated, I was writing new content. It was a pleasurable event that I walked into bright eyed and filled with excitement. Last year, I struggled very much. At the end of the month, I was lucky if my word count was around 1k. It was the beginning of functionally a year long struggle with writing. A number of factors were in my way. The biggest was the fact that I was sick and it made getting any form of writing done very hard.
So, here I am getting ready for NaNoWriMo 2017 and I am nervous. Perhaps more nervous than I was the first year I attempted doing it. I know in the past I was able to write out a full 50k manuscript and a bit more over the course of the month. It was a regular thing when I had the opportunity and made a point of being disciplined about my working schedule. Now, I am afraid that my ongoing struggle with depression is going to shut this down before I get started. I am concerned about what ever may pop up over the month putting me in a position where I simply am unable to finish what I am working on. And I have all of the usual 'imposter syndrome' coming up again like mushrooms after a rainstorm.
Still, I'm going to make the attempt. If anything, to hopefully prove to myself that I actually can still do this stuff.
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