AW: Morning pgs. 2025: Day 4

A part of me says that my streak of writing on this blog isn't going to last long. That pessimistic thought is a hold over from the depressive episode that recently ended. It's that mild sense of futility that keeps you up at night wondering if anything you do makes a difference, despite the fact that you had a decent day. I have to say, it is a really annoying feature of my brain. On another blog of mine, I posted something that was pretty long about worry. I'm not going to repeat it here, but it is enough to say that I have some opinions on the topic and frustration with my anxiety disorder.

Putting that aside, I am not sure what today is going to hold for me. The weather is warm and wet. They were calling for it to be cloudy but that changed overnight. The rain forecasted for tomorrow is showing up today in the afternoon and happening through the day tomorrow as well. Then it gets cold again and we have a chance of snow. To say the least, I have had a headache for a few days and I'm pretty sure it's going to persist through the week. Up and down temperatures and wild swings in the weather are migraine triggers.

I have a great medication that my doctor prescribed me for my migraines. The trick is, they don't know if it is safe to take more than three times a month. When I get migraines, it can be just one in a month or it can be weeks of them. It's really frustrating to be at the mercy of the weather. It's hard enough to deal with the fact that the weather is being stupid to begin with. Throw in crushing pain and eyes that are hyper light sensitive and it's just awful. I hate migraines with a passion that is deep and true.