I have been looking through my journals and no inspiration hits me. My usual sources of inspiration are just not hitting me right now. It's frustrating because I want to write and make art but I am so absorbed in panic about what is happening here in the US that I am stuck. I really don't want to be stuck, but it's difficult to get unstuck. I am making progress getting supports lined up for my kids for over the summer and after my eldest is done with school. The boys both have a wicked case of ADHD and they're dealing with Autism. It puts them about 4 yrs behind the curve which has made school a challenge. At the same time, however, they're making progress and I want to see that progress continue forward.
My eldest is due to graduate this year. My biggest concern for him is getting things lined up for him to learn valuable life skills. I've tried teaching him how to cook and such but to no avail. He seems to listen better to other people than me. I don't know if it is a case of familiarity breeding some level of contempt or what. I don't think contempt is the right word but I can't think of a better one. He is a good kid, they both are. Beloved and I have been doing everything we can think of to teach them life skills but it just doesn't seem to stick.
I kinda wonder if part of it is the fact that they're teenagers and they're just going through a phase of not listening. I am not sure. All I know is it is exasperating and worrisome. I look at their peers and see how they are ahead of them. It makes me worry about the future. I try not to worry but I do. It's part of having an anxiety disorder, I suppose, and part of having kids. I want the best for these boys and I'm afraid that I can't provide everything they need to succeed. So, I've been trying to get supports for them to help them carry on with their efforts to grow and make a place in the world.
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