A Recipe for an Author

 Dear Reader,

I'm still a bit loopy because of my shoulder and lack of sleep. Please forgive the following silliness.

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Recipe for One Author

Ingredients

• 50 lbs of paper
• 100 gal of ink
• 2 tons of plot bunnies, well brushed and fluffy
• 34 knives of frustration
• 23 spoons of chaos (golden delicious apple flavored works best)
• 7000 mispelled words
• 1 human

If you can not locate the paper or ink, digital technology has a wonderful alternative for you. Failing that, use one Underwood typewriter.

Once you have gathered all of your ingredients, blend together in a large cauldron (humans don't fit in small ones). Simmer over low heat until the human is screaming Hamlet's soliloquy or in agonizing pain, which ever comes first. The stoic humans are a tough breed and can make for a somewhat gamey flavored result if they're not simmered low and slow.

Turn your well scalded human out of the cauldron and wrap them in the paper and quench with the ink.

Then run, because they are armed with 34 knives.