Dear Reader,
This stupid cold and sinus infection has me sleeping terribly. I woke up at 4 am practically choking on congestion. It was a nerve wracking few minutes. When that passed, I was wide awake (for obvious reasons). I tried to go back to sleep, I really did. I spent the hour staring at the ceiling and rehashing scenes from LARPs I had played in over ten years ago. I spent my time thinking about plot ideas for other books. I laid there with my mind spinning a million miles a minute. There was no way I was going to get back to sleep.
I was tempted to sneak into the living room and do some typing but Beloved had passed out on the couch. I didn't want to wake him up. It was just agony to have so much stuff flying around in my head that I couldn't pin down and write about. On one hand, the thoughts were vivid and relatively well organized. On the other hand, they were like trying to catch a handful of smoke when I tried to actively consider them. Put that together with the wooziness I had going on and, well, I knew that I had a fever with out having to check the thermometer. At least it wasn't hypomania, otherwise I'd have been filled with the compulsion to clean EVERYTHING and organize ALL THE THINGS. And then I'd never find anything again. Because hypomania makes my brain itchy until I do that. And when I am organizing things, I think to myself that because it is organized I'll find it again.
Since my last hypomanic episode, I'm still trying to find where I put the packet of taco seasoning. I know it's here somewhere. I know it is in the kitchen, even. But I can't find it. I keep getting more taco seasoning and it keeps going missing when I have brief hypomanic episodes. Somewhere, there is a cache of taco seasoning going stale and turning into taco flavored, packet sized, concrete. Thank goodness that when my hypomanic episodes hit, I don't go and start organizing my writing stuff. I'd be an utter mess if that happened. *knocks wood*
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